so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
