yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
