So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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