Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
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I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
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Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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