I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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