get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
