you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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