Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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