OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
