There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
