M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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