She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
