It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
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He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
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Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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