You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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