Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
