Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(210): View more from Texas

I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...

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(913): View more from Kansas

Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.

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(516): View more from New York

Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.

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(541): View more from Oregon

I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!

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(303): View more from Colorado

why does he always try to puke into shot glasses

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(289): View more from Ontario

Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.

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(419): View more from Ohio

By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.

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(516): View more from New York

the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen

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(314): View more from Missouri

Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.

(314): View more from Missouri

and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...

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