Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize