yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I yelled at your uterus for you.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
