i don't like sucking hair
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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