Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
