hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
