dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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