No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
