my sisters under your porch take her home
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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