We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I look better un-naked...
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
