yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
