I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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