You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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