i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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