I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize