just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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