my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is dick and wine.
I think people are normalizing furries
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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