I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
