Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
