Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
