my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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