apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
