she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
