I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
