are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
