Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
