Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
