just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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