my room smells like sperm. sweet.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
