BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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