found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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