Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
