He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
