Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i barfeds in our rink
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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