Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
This house was built for laser tag.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
