12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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