Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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