i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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