Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Boobs are out for the taking
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
