***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
