i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
