Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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