just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
